Hi.

Hi.

So today was fucking awful.
I was sick.
And we got a call that my old neighbor died.

I felt like I was slapped in the face.
We didn't know he was sick.
It was just like out of the blue.

I feel like I'm living a horrible dream, and any second I'm going to wake up.
I hope I wake up and it's just a dream.
This man treated me better than my grandpa did, and now he's gone.
I didn't even get to say good-bye.

I've been sitting here all day just thinking.
And the more I think the more I feel the anxiety swallowing me whole.
Engulfing me in wave after wave of irrational fears and sadness.
I keep having to stop myself.
Dialing back the clock, and telling myself 'Jesus I trust in you'.

Anxiety hurts.
Anxiety sucks.

I just want to sleep.